DUSKY HOPE

Hope, AKOriginals

Life is just so intriguing! It kept me alive, giving hope to live a day more. Each day I wake up to a different me, but each has same vision to live a nomad, to see this life just as an experience of living than burdening with responsibilities that can’t be borne by an individual who’s in search of himself and who he wants to be.  

My dreams are just like yours, tangled around some corner of the heart with a hope that they will come to life. Though mine are sprouting to become big, but in this giant world of dreams they are nothing but a spore. 

I live alone. Alone, in the room, with lights off, soon my eyes become wet. I pray to God, asking him to give me strength, to live a day more till I find who I’m. Amidst, I doze off awakening only to the alarm, reminding me of my cab being fifteen minutes away.  

I dress up to the corporate levels and try to keep my true self than being a fake. I’m not bad at my work, I have good reputation there, at least I believe! But, this is just for my livelihood, to feed my stomach. I return to the room only with the hungry soul.  

I cry. I cry as I fail each day in feeding my soul. I wail for not being coherent in who I want to be and bawl for not being eloquent with my thoughts and emotions. 

I cry nevertheless of which situation I am in, contemplating where this life would lead me before I’m laid in the grave.  

People always say, I’m lost in my thoughts and I smile rarely. The truth is, the times when they saw me smiling, I ain’t smiling from the heart, but those hidden tears burst out as a smile which depicted a sweet and happy face. Now, they won’t see this kind of me more, because I’m in the delusion of happiness and grief. Living in the illusion of happiness that tomorrow is the day this ends, but yet this mirage of life wonders me every night with that dusky hope called each day is a new beginning.